On the road again

Why is it so hard to get back on track????

Today..... another start.... 211. A fellow wayward bandster saw me last night and the first thing she said...... "I'm so glad I'm not the only one who's gained weight"

We compared notes on what we ate yesterday... and regrettably it was much the same.

She had
Chocolate Milk
Sleeve of Ritz w/topping
6 pack of donuts

I had:
2-3 butter cookies
about 8 Ritz crackers
Various bits of candy through out the day
1 large Chocolate Shake
5 chicken nuggets
Oh and add to that........ Cherry Koolaid, and Dt Dr Pepper

All my fabulous clothes from last summer (the size 10's) do not fit.....
My gym membership expired (not that I used it)

So today...... 211.2
I made a choice.... DO SOMETHING.. DO ANYTHING...

I am not prepared...... so I grabbed a block of cheddar cheese out of the fridge and stuck it in my purse, and then I stopped at 7eleven and bought the lowest carb protein bar they had........

Seen HERE



This is me............ trying once again to climb aboard the losing train....

Trying to get back

207 today......... a new high! SUCKS!!!!!

However, today NO Ice Cream
TODAY, NO nacho's
TODAY, I play by the rules
TODAY, I start losing again.
TODAY dammit..... TODAY

Has it REALLY been January since I posted?!

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!

Slippery slope I tell ya!

I'm still here, I'm still banded and I'm still in my personal hell.

I have been fighting a desparate game of head games and back sliding....... I am back up 200 - 206 on any given day............ a long way from 174, but really.. not that far if I'd get my head out of my ass.

I did join my company softball team.... and it is the most exercise I've had in two years.... I am going to try an NOT eat ice cream every day....... yes... I've been closet eating the evil IC 1-2 times a day........ tonight it was dinner.

I busted a zipper in my size 10 capri's yesterday and I can see the fullness in my face........... WHY do I do this to myself???????? Why don't I drink water, why.. that bitch the fat girl in my mind is winning right now...... its time to kick her ass and get my head back in the game.

It is hard for me to be inspirational right now........ a lot of pressure.... so I guess learn from me.... yeah yeah....... I'm NOT 272 NOT size 24 NOT MORBIDLY obese... but I am a woman, banded two years an fighting complacency and cheating myself........ I am tight enough........ if I stuck to the rules I would only be able to eat small amounts........ but ice cream and nachos's.......... well those things go right down.........

Know that I am going to get my head out of my ass.......... soon....... My mom is doing GREAT!!!!!!! she looks great......... down from 280ish to 230ish.... I am so happy for her....... I love my mommy and I want her to be healthy for many years to come........ I need to remember the rules........ and get back under 200 and back to those size 10's and lose size 12's