207 today......... a new high! SUCKS!!!!!
However, today NO Ice Cream
TODAY, NO nacho's
TODAY, I play by the rules
TODAY, I start losing again.
TODAY dammit..... TODAY
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
Has it REALLY been January since I posted?!
HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!
Slippery slope I tell ya!
I'm still here, I'm still banded and I'm still in my personal hell.
I have been fighting a desparate game of head games and back sliding....... I am back up 200 - 206 on any given day............ a long way from 174, but really.. not that far if I'd get my head out of my ass.
I did join my company softball team.... and it is the most exercise I've had in two years.... I am going to try an NOT eat ice cream every day....... yes... I've been closet eating the evil IC 1-2 times a day........ tonight it was dinner.
I busted a zipper in my size 10 capri's yesterday and I can see the fullness in my face........... WHY do I do this to myself???????? Why don't I drink water, why.. that bitch the fat girl in my mind is winning right now...... its time to kick her ass and get my head back in the game.
It is hard for me to be inspirational right now........ a lot of pressure.... so I guess learn from me.... yeah yeah....... I'm NOT 272 NOT size 24 NOT MORBIDLY obese... but I am a woman, banded two years an fighting complacency and cheating myself........ I am tight enough........ if I stuck to the rules I would only be able to eat small amounts........ but ice cream and nachos's.......... well those things go right down.........
Know that I am going to get my head out of my ass.......... soon....... My mom is doing GREAT!!!!!!! she looks great......... down from 280ish to 230ish.... I am so happy for her....... I love my mommy and I want her to be healthy for many years to come........ I need to remember the rules........ and get back under 200 and back to those size 10's and lose size 12's
Slippery slope I tell ya!
I'm still here, I'm still banded and I'm still in my personal hell.
I have been fighting a desparate game of head games and back sliding....... I am back up 200 - 206 on any given day............ a long way from 174, but really.. not that far if I'd get my head out of my ass.
I did join my company softball team.... and it is the most exercise I've had in two years.... I am going to try an NOT eat ice cream every day....... yes... I've been closet eating the evil IC 1-2 times a day........ tonight it was dinner.
I busted a zipper in my size 10 capri's yesterday and I can see the fullness in my face........... WHY do I do this to myself???????? Why don't I drink water, why.. that bitch the fat girl in my mind is winning right now...... its time to kick her ass and get my head back in the game.
It is hard for me to be inspirational right now........ a lot of pressure.... so I guess learn from me.... yeah yeah....... I'm NOT 272 NOT size 24 NOT MORBIDLY obese... but I am a woman, banded two years an fighting complacency and cheating myself........ I am tight enough........ if I stuck to the rules I would only be able to eat small amounts........ but ice cream and nachos's.......... well those things go right down.........
Know that I am going to get my head out of my ass.......... soon....... My mom is doing GREAT!!!!!!! she looks great......... down from 280ish to 230ish.... I am so happy for her....... I love my mommy and I want her to be healthy for many years to come........ I need to remember the rules........ and get back under 200 and back to those size 10's and lose size 12's
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