Saturday, December 29, 2007

A BandName........

First.......... since I am so scale oriented right now......... 200.8 this morning!
SO CLOSE...... but still 2something.
Some peeps on my LBT Violet thread were talking about naming our bands......
BillyBadAss, WIT aka whateverittakes, UpChuck, Bluto........ funny and poinant.... mine is named Crazy Nadine......... its a family name for me... my hard of hearing grandpa thought that my dad gave me a hippy name of "crazy" so in that side of the family it was my name....., later my neice Erica got a hold of the name and to her I was Crazy Nadine, after her uncle and I divorced no one really called me it anymore.. and so I am naming my band "crazy nadine" because she is fickle and picky, and my little silicone fist that shows me who is boss......... and the best thing I've ever done 100% for myself!

So then in my last post I was obsessing about maybe being too tight.....
today not so much. We took the boys to the movies. They all wanted to see
the Chipmunks..... (I tried telling them it was sold out) but no luck.. we watched the
singing rodents...... my 4 year old got bored by the end, but he did love it..

My point......... I had a kiddee combo........ tiny dt pepsi, fruit snack, and hot butter movie popcorn...... I ate the entire thing..... it took well over an hour but how AMAZING.. my band likes popcorn........ so NO ONEderland for me tomorrow I'm sure, but soon...

The more fastenating and aweinspiring thing is that pre band I would of had a mega combo W/refills! I'm going to eat lightly and smartly tonight and hope for the best tomorrow.

Have a great Saturday people!

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

OK... lets talk about being too tight

I'm talking RESTRICTION tightness....... pervs

First thing......... scale said 202 this morning! officially 70 lbs down from April 1, 2007..... I'm glad I'm happy... I'm almost in ONEderland..... but I think I may have to face facts that with my last tweaker fill (.3 cc's) I am too tight..... I don't know... I need to evaluate what exactly I'm eating and how fast. I've been eating mostly soups....... soups laced with crackers. I did eat some rotel dip w/ chips on Christmas eve, and yesterday I had mashed potatoes w/brown gravy...

I had a pretty violet PB last week on a very tender bbq meatball that had been in the crock pot all day...... It scared me. It was not a normal little PB (it was violent retching that hurt) hurt my port area and I went to bed with a heating pad. I haven't felt any pain since, but now I'm freaked out............ I need to get away from all the holiday sweets, and REALLY evaluate what I'm eating. I know that I do need more protein, to which my dh says he's got the answer...... :)
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWe.......... :) I do need to decide....... am I eating 1/2 cup of food and staying full???????? (IF I answered this truthfully, yes 1/2 -1 cup of food IS all I'm eating)

The filling out of a deviled egg with a cracker COULD ball up and clog the ol band... did I suck the filling out of 4 deviled eggs????? is that a half cup??? All questions that I need to consider really consider before messing with my restriction.......... because right now it kicks ass!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Merry Christmas!

Not much to write this week because the scale is not budging 203.8 it said this morning ... ticks me off, but I know its because I've been eating the crumbly goodness of Holiday sweets. (the good thing is... I'm eating 1 thing and NOT an entire PLATTER) the beauty of the band.....

I'm doing well, and I'm oh so happy to be looking like the pic to the left rather than the sad sap I was a year ago. I keep telling myself that if I lose slowly then maybe my belly and my knee's will "snap" back instead of look deflated, but who am I kidding????? My belly has NEVER been snappable! :)

My friend B was up a couple weeks ago and we enjoyed a most fabulous weekend... she's 5 or so years out from having the RNY.... the major difference between her eating and mine....

We went out for Cheesecake and Coffee......... mine went down fine, hers sent her into a major Dumping episode...and she NEVER dumps...... she ate bread, I didn't even dare try it. :)


Friday, December 7, 2007

Snowed Yesterday!

I can not believe it! Actual measurable snow.. the kids had a great time playing in it.

My friend is driving up today as the roads are clear. She's staying at the house tonight so last night I got her room ready, and this morning I put dinner in the crock pot before heading off to work!

Tomorrow we are going to my LapBand support meeting and then its off to the hotel, and later the Ballet (Nutcracker) total girls weekend!

ohhhhhhhhhh scale said 204.6 lbs today! YIPPEEEEE

Thursday, December 6, 2007

I'm sooooo excited!

One of my best friends in the ENTIRE world is coming in for the weekend and we are planning to hit the Country Club Plaza, and catch either the Nutcracker or A Christmas Carol..... best of all I get to give her a hug after 3 years......... and no kids, no husbands...... just us girls. I'm hoping for good weather because she will have to cancel if the roads are icy.... HOLY CRAP I need to clean my house and get her bed ready! TONIGHT I WILL BE A MANIAC :)

I'm so happy......

scale is continuing to bounce from 205-209......... today = 206 lbs..........

Monday, December 3, 2007

I've been crying a lot.......

Along with my mostly optimistic outlook on life...... I've been crying A LOT, over small stuff and big stuff... and extremely stupid stuff..... WHY?
I realized its because I am no longer able to STRESS EAT... with this last fill I am no longer able to cram shit down my throat because of life events...... When I do.. it is not satisfying and I end up over the toilet spitting it out. Finding a new outlet for my stress is something I must do. Because me being a total irrational biotch to those I love and work with will not cut it.......
The obvious answer is exercise........... but come on let me be real....... I haven't developed the love affair with exercising that oh so many have...... I don't ever see me having an orgasm over a good brisk run.... I wish. LOL
OK... so I'm going to post a pic from Last December...... It was taken at my sons skating party and I thought I looked pretty cute until I saw the following pic......... I wasn't even at my heaviest yet...... Also a pretty embarassing thing happened at this party...... I got down on the floor in the center of the rink to re tie my son's skate, and I could NOT get my fat ass up.... The skates kept moving out from under me and I had to ask a little size 0 teeny bopper to help me up......... she freaked out thinking that I had fallen, she asked if she needed to call someone.. I said NO.. just give me a hand....(this completely tore down any piece of confidence I had) I was the fat mom who had a young outgoing spirit in a fat waddling body.......... that version of me is gone....... I'm getting there...... BRING ON THE DAMN SKaTES!

Me trying to keep my balance and look cute..........
Never again will I BE that woman!
December 2006

December 2, 2007........

Wearing my beloved size 12 Levis and a Size Large Shirt

Thursday, November 29, 2007


Full restriction is BACK! Hallefreakinluha!

Scale this morning 206 lbs (1 more Turkey Weekend pound to go)

I WILL see Onederland by Christmas.. this is my goal... but I suck at goals! :)

I made a crock pot chicken catchetorie thing yesterday and although the meat was super tender I didn't eat much of it because I got really irritated with all the chewing.. (SPEED EATING ISSUE) so I ate the veggie sauce and about half of a baked potato.....

People ask what is the hardest thing about being banded......

I guess the fact that your brain must continue to be in "diet mode". Diet Mode, Diet Mode, Diet MODE......... my entire life has been in DIET MODE....... it sucks... but that is me.....

The easiest thing about being banded............
I actually get full after 1 taco or 1/2 bowl of oatmeal.......... the fact that it is 10:30 a.m. and I've not had anything yet to eat today and I am not flopping around on the floor like a fish out of water.. (Yeah, I know its not good for my metabolism to not eat in the morning) The FREEDOM FROM CONSTANT HUNGER....... well it's almost orgasmic.

OK>>>> all for now

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Tuesday is CTC Day

My list of fellow Shrinking Violets (on LapbandTalk) have deemed Tuesday's and Thursdays as
CUT THE CRAP DAY(s)......... So today is CTC day.... so far I'm doing OK.

After my tweaker fill yesterday... I've been on liquids... Today (SO FAR) I've had
Coffee w/sf creamer
Protein Bullet
About HALF of my bowl of Turkey Pot Pie Soup..... (I dumped most of the chunks in the trash)
ONE glass of Crystal Light.. (I really need to drink more water/crystal light)

and if I'm really honest.. I did have a tiny nibble of a peanutbutter cornflake cookie this morning..... (this is the CRAP I'm trying to steer clear of) but otherwise so far so good.

I've read that restriction is a funny thing and sometimes just messing with your fill can take away great restriction... I will know if my SWEET spot is back tomorrow when I try something other than soup.....

Guess what......... I've been banded 7 months........ I still feel like I'm learning my band.. and I'm trying to wrap my head around being smaller than a size 12.

I'm pretty happy in my 12's and that means this is my danger zone of complacency... now is usually the time when I start spiraling out of control jumping off the Atkins plan that I know works so well for me.................

OH well.. time to get back to the daily grind.....

Monday, November 26, 2007

I am THANKFUL that Turkey Day is over!

I gained over Thanksgiving weekend, but that said...... I did it to myself.

I KNEW I was going in for a fill today, so I pushed the envelope over the weekend... why do I do this to myself? Why did I eat everything EXCEPT turkey? (I knew turkey would get stuck)

Old habbits of entitlement creep in...... I knew my ass would be getting clamped down again so dammit I ATE the cornflake cookies and the biscuits and gravy......... LOTS and LOTS of gravy.

Cheat the band.... I am the smartest dumbass you will ever read! :)

I'm not really that mad at myself... because my little silicone fist is still in me, still there waiting patiently to tell me that she is the boss............ and I am on liquids for 36 hours... Tomatoe soup and a protein bullet is on my menu for tonight.

Even though my scale told me of my failure, my doc was more than pleased with my overall progress........ and my size 24 jeans have long since gone to goodwill and the size 12's that I picked up for myself on black friday look mightly fine on me today...... albeit a little tighter than they would of been last week........

The best part is KNOWING that by Spring time....... they too will be in the goodwill pile!

Saturday, November 17, 2007

I've given birth to a TWEEN!

GOD HELP US ALL! My oldest step son has come to live with us, he's 12.5 and I love him dearly. We've got him in school and he's camping this weekend with his new scout troop..... all is good so far... time to settle in with a routine..... This will be a good thing for all involved, but when the honeymoon is over WATCH out! :)

On a Band Front................ I finally broke my stall....... this morning I weighed 205lbs........ 3 more and I hit -70........ and the best part...... I am wearing (as I type this) my last pair of size 12 levis that I had in my closet............... WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOO!

Yeah, I still have those size 14 dockers that won't fit yet, but I'm not dwelling on it... I have a brand new w/tags pair of size 10 Levis (same style that I love) waiting for me.... dam.. me with a size 10 butt????????????? I can't imagine... because although I've been this size (12) before as last as 2005............... the last time I was in size 10, I was 15 years old... and at that time I was still considered fat....... (Diary of the FAT Sister should be my autobiography)

Next head goal is 202lbs then the ever ellusive ONEderland! Thing is my restriction has really loosened up with this last whoosh.. so I will be getting a tweaker fill the week after Thanksgiving, and I'm hoping that fill hold me til June 08 or so... truth is I do have restriction, but not as much, and I'm getting my last fill for the calendar year (Insurance thang).

OK............ Have a great TURKEY day! Try to stay on YOUR plan and try to stay OUT of the bathroom! ;)

Wishing you Sweet Dreams and Smaller Jeans!

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Plateaus SUCK!

Well, I finally hit my first stagnent stage........ 3 weeks and I've been bouncing from 210 to 213 and back again. I know, I know.... my body is just catching up with itself, but it is still annoying.

I am trying to drink at least ONE 2liter of Crystal Light each day....... (today is day two of it)

Hoping to get the scale moving downward once again.

I am also eating more than I had been previously... I still have good restriction but I can eat more than 1 cup of food......

This is day 4 of CUTTING THE CRAP out of my diet! (meaning...... NO HALLOWEEN CANDY)

I really wanted to be in ONEderland by Turkeyday, but at this rate I am not going to make it.....

The good news is that I am looking and feeling better than I have in a long time!

Tracy signing off........... and still loving my band! :)

Thursday, October 25, 2007

6 months and 62 lbs

Hello all!

Tomorrow is my 6 month bandversary and I am happy to be down 62lbs.

210 lbs... and flashes of 209 show up to tease me. I REALLY want to be in ONEderland by Turkey Day.... it is such a mental thing to have a "1" on the scale.....

I have been holding what us bandsters call our SWEET spot since August and it is awesome to only be able to eat 1 cup or less of food and then stay full for hours.

This band has really been a great tool for me. I actually was able to button ONE pair of my size 12 Levis! The others have a bit before they will button. 6 months down and I'm cruizing along still learning my band........

Friday, October 12, 2007

I've been a bad bad girl

Yesterday was our annual OPEN Enrolment meeting day...........
I am ashamed to say that NOT ONE MORSEL of real food entered my mouth.......... I graized on crap all day........

The ONLY saving grace was between setting up, presenting, tearing down and cleaning up... I expended a lot of energy....... but I did bounce UP two hard earned pounds this morning...

I am down a total of 59 lbs and although I had a slip in judgement my band is right here waiting for me take the day seriously again. I DO have awesome restriction, but folks....... crunchy crumbly GOES RIGHT THROUGH! So the bite size scones and cookies and petit four.. RIGHT THROUGH........ grrrrrrrr THE GUILT! THE SHAME!

I had several people email me after the meetings and ask what I've been doing to lose weight.... so that felt good......... it also felt KICK ass to actually grab my own ass wearing a size 14 and have room in them! WHOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO priceless baby priceless

Today I was back.......... and tested my restriction on 1 crunchy taco........... too fast........ damn... it was so good I shoved it in my mouth and greedily started eating............. HALF way through the thing.......... I AM DONE! a small pb and full.......... yup restriction is there. All while my doubting mother is AMAZED that her eldest daughter actually left a mound of cheese, lettuce and tomatoe and half a taco on her plate untouched. She then asked if I could adopt her and my step dad so that they could have the surgery under my insurance! LOL She said...... "Tracy, It's WORKING! You are a lot smaller than you were!" :)

Tonight while out with DH and DS.......... I had some mushroom and wild rice soup.. it was good.. and yes I WAS able to eat a fried mushroom or two and a Corn Nugget....... but NOT AN ENTIRE ORDER................ like in the old days.......... 1-3 each and that was it. (and the soup helped it along) ................ Yes, yes, eating hot SOUP before eating something else.. is called

EATING AROUND THE BAND! CHEATING THE BAND it is possible to do......... the question one has to ask........ SHOULD YOU?
That is why those researching the band will read.. IT IS JUST A TOOL! and it is right and I knew it going in......... the absolute BEST thing that happened tonight even WITH eating soup...... is that my entire meal........ could of been put on a plate and only equaled HALF... (I did not eat the rice in the soup I mainly ate the mushrooms and the broth)

OK.... signing off for now!

Thursday, October 4, 2007

So You Say It's Your Birthday...

It's My Birthday Too Yeah.....

Yup... the big 38 today....

My boss is taking me to lunch so I'm opting for Applebees soup and salad..... He wanted to go to the Chinese Buffet!!!!!!! (No way!) The ONLY thing my band will let me eat there is the egg drop soup and the center of a crab rangoon.

I was able to button my OTHER pair of size 14 Levis last night! YIPPEE
As a birthday present to myself I hit Victoria Secret online and bought something for the girls! ;)

Have a great day!

Monday, October 1, 2007

Welcome to OCTOBER!

Down 10lbs this month! Right on target............ A couple things... Since I'm not hungry very often I've really been slacking on my protein, and since my band doesn't like chicken or steak (unless its already ground) I am relegated to ground beef, pork, turkey... etc....... and since DH doesn't DO foo foo meat it's mainly ground beef unless I cook something just for me. ANYWAY........

I've heard all over cyberville about these "OhYeah" Wafers and how good they are..... So last weekend I went in search of them......... 4 GNC's later I finally did. I bought them and a protien Slammer......... something like a jello shot with 27 or 42 grams of protein per tube.

OMG the OhYeah! are SERIOUSLY delish (for a protein bar) They do have a tiny bit of a sawdust taste, but I've tried just about every LowCarb protien bar out there and these are by far the BEST! I usually eat a SouthBEachDiet protien bar, but these are FAR FAR BETTER... so take that as you will.

OK.... so I was in for a bit of a suprise with these puppies........... about 30 minutes after SHOOTING IT LIKE A JELLO SHOT........... I got all tingly on my arms and legs...
Tingly like your skin is ichy and dry in the middle of winter in a house that has dry heat.. or for those of you who have indulged in the TINGLY tanning lotion while you were fake baking at the local tanning hut......... Did this yesterday and then again this morning while I was in the middle of a workout........ FREAKY! So today I went and looked up the description
High Performance Protein & Workout SupplementCarnosine Synthesizer with Beta-Alanine27 Protein - O Fat - 0 CarbsProteinSlams™ are engineered as an easy to digest protein cocktail & High Performance pre-workout supplement. Each vial delivers a synergistic blend of amino acids and a pre-workout formula combining beta-Alanine and Taurine strategically designed to energize you through any exercise or sport activity.

Did ya catch that?????????? I actually got my lazy ass out of bed and to the gym at 4:30 a.m. this morning!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

5 Months Banded

Today is my 5 month bandversary!
Down 54 lbs, and wearing most all my size 16's in my closet,

I was busting out of my 24's when I started..... ahhh it feels good.
This dress is an XL and I'm wearing a black blazer over it as I type this
size 16. Dress AGAIN? has been already uttered by 4 people.

Monday, September 24, 2007


I am wiping up tears of joy after reading "The Pin Up Girl" blog.... go check it out.

I also hit a milestone of my own on Friday and managed to hold it over the weekend..
I hit the "teens". Also I am wearing a dress today....... who IS this person I'm becoming?

I feel like one of the "afters" on What Not to Wear! Dresses are not my thing.... especially one that doesn't stop at my ankles!

Friday......... I had a good day...... it seemed like EVERYONE at work picked Friday to notice that I'm losing weight........ Must of been what I was wearing because even the old guys in Maintenance noticed....... weird, but good.

I have also noticed a big change in my finger nails and my hair....... I am not getting enough protein, I have GOT to fix it.

Also, I was scheduled for a fill appointment today but I gave it up because my restriction is holding steady. My next apt. is 10/22/2007... I'm really hoping to be down 10-15 lbs... by then

Please Santa, ONEderland by Christmas!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Shhhhhhhhh we have a secret!

Absurd to post a SECRET on a blog where virtually ANYONE can see it online, but thats the GREAT thing about blogging......... I can tell EVERYONE and NO ONE all at once.
We are having a wedding in March, but for a multitude of reasons we decided to tie the knot at the courthouse early.... We are still having a WEDDING that includes our boys and our families, but yesterday we made all this "living in sin" legal!
For our NEXT ceremony.. I will be a lot thinner! :)

Friday, September 14, 2007

Reading the FINE print!

We just recieved our new Insurance SPD's (the boring legeleze book that no one ever reads) It's part of my job... so I just skimmed the OBESITY RELATED PROCEDURES section.............What I found made my day:

Also included are services, supplies or charges for the correction of complications arising from weight control procedures, such as procedures to reverse any restrictive or diversion ary procedures and such reconstructiove procedures as may be neccessitatied by the weight loss produced by these covered restrictrive or diversionary procedures. Examples of such reconstructive procedures include, but are not limited to, abdominal panniculectomy, and removal of excessive skin from arms, legs or other areas of the body!

THIS MEANS THAT I’m GETTING a TT and arms done after I LOSE THIS WEIGHT! Holy crap!!!!!


220.6 this morning...... almost to the teens.

I detest setting goals.. but I really want to hit ONEderland by Christmas...
By Thanksgiving would be awesome, but I don't want to set myself up for failure, so I'm saying Christmas.

I have a pair of Old Navy Ultra Low Fit size 16 capri length jeans that I can almost wear again.... those and my size 14 mid rise levis (not the ones in the pics) are sooooooooo close. After NOT being able to button them I put on the Levis I posted NSV pics in just to make sure that I can REALLY button and zip them... and yes... I can still do it... even a bit easier than last week. They are still not comfy enough to wear out of the house but very gratifying....... It is so nice to be able to shop in my closet, but even nicer to actually buy something new.. that will be a ONEderland treat for myself.

I've decided that I'm getting my ass back to the gym next week.... I MUST I MUST!

Have a great day....

Drink your water!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

So... I'm sitting here wearing a suit for no particular reason....

No meetings today
No special visitors
Just your average everyday Thursday and I decided to wear a monkey suit.........

Who is this person?

The person who has 5 pairs of capri length pull on pants in varying colors.. and wears them religiously day after day............

I also put product in my hair and wore it down today......
No ponytail......

I even wore lipstick...... Who IS this person?

This is the Tracy that I've missed for so long... the one who actually CARES about her
appearance. The one who actually feels good about herself again.....

Oh........ and the one that can FIT into the monkey suit again.


Wednesday, September 12, 2007

I LOVE the Biggest Loser!

I have been addicted to the Biggest Loser Show since its first season and last night was the premier. It is very inspiring to watch people work their asses off, and it is amazing when I see someone who is the same weight as I am and see how huge they look.......

There was a girl who weighed 279 (I started at 272) Man oh man... I was big.

The best part is knowing I will never be that size again.

Today I MUST drink my water!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

So my boss is an ass

Mid Day Rant!

I love the old geezer, but dam it he is such an ass...........

1. He does not know I'm banded.
a. Wouldn't understand it.
b. Would want to talk about it every minute of every day
c. Would tell me what I SHOULD be doing.... grrrrrrrr
d. Would turn into the BIGGEST PAIN IN MY ASS
2. He is 60+ years old.... never been divorced, never been a smoker, is basically in HIS mind near perfect........ and did I mention a pain in my ass at times when we disagree as he can be very judgemental.

OK.... so I had started going to the gym... but I have slacked off...
Trace: You go work out this morning?
Then I say.. "No, not this morning"
To which I get a daily lecture.... annoying

So he tells me that he is almost down to 250, as he pats his belly and laughs... only one more pound... I really hit that tread mill this morning!

I finally tell him that I'm down 53 lbs as of April 1st.......... he looks at me disbelieving.....

53 lbs! Nawwwwwwwww! 53 Really?????

Yes Dan 53lbs... I had regained all my weight and added 20...

He replies........

"Well OFCOURSE I NOTICED YOU REGAINED ALL YOUR WEIGHT only a DOPE wouldn't of noticed THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!" What ya eating there? Oatmeal???

Gee Thanks asshole


I am trying to get more protein into my body.....

It is so weird to not be hungry all the time. Never in my life and I MEAN NEVER have I ever "forgotten" to eat. You hear skinny people say this all the time.
I always thought in my mind... "YEAH RIGHT!" Also you would hear it when people get sick they lose weight........ NOT ME.... so to be sitting here right now forcing myself to eat some Weight Control Oatmeal when I not hungry in the least... well it seems obsurd.

Yesterday I attended a seminar and I didn't eat ANYthing until 2:00 p.m. simply because I hadn't really thought about it and I was busy... is this another NSV? Is it a miracle? YES, you betcha.

I would say that I am indeed at my sweet spot of restriction. I am a daily weigher and on Sunday I saw 220.8 lbs on my scale.......... down from 272 April 1st 2007. I DID have a bad day of graizing as we were at a family function and I literally ate all day..... I spent the day miserable but picking... old habbits are so hard to break........... I did bounce up 4 pounds , but then this morning I'm back down 3lbs, so I'm hoping to see the teens later this week.

It is so funny how people from my cyber life pop into my RL thoughts at the weirdest times.... for instance.. Danyele (the pin up girl) I don't know her personally, but I first remember her posting on the LCF website and was interested when I started seeing her post about her impending surgery... and now look at her! I read her blog weekly and yesterday I thought of her when I got my hair cut........... the words.. "MORE PRODUCT" came to mind.. something she wrote after her new hair do................. Daneyle if you read this..... YOU HAVE BEEN A REAL INSPIRATION! and heck its how I even learned about the Sassy WLS ring.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007


If you frequent my blog you will find that I'm a picture freak!
I document everything in pics....
Today is no exception.
I have these well worn size 14 NON-Stretch Levis that I've had for about 7 years...
I love them... I especially love them when they are baggy...
anyway.. I've been trying them on every week for the last two months or so...
Late July, I got them up over my hips but there
was no amount of sucking or stuffing that would allow them to button.... I made it my august
goal to get them buttoned by Labor Day....... I'm a few days late, but by God they buttoned AND zipped this morning............ no I can't breathe.... but breathing is over rated RIGHT?

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Back from Labor Day

Wow! I leave for a weekend and I actually find out that people have READ my ramblings! Very Cool! I have a crazy work day......... (Here's a twist on my personality) I work in an actual Convent, I also spent last weekend at a motorcycle rally. I've been riding my own bike for 11 years... since becoming a mom 4 years ago.. the long road trips are a thing of my past, but I still love the feeling of riding through winding hills and smelling the smells of the outdoors............. ahhhh the weekend. To answer the questions posted in the comments section... 4 months banded and I am down nearly 50 lbs. I have what is known as the "small" band, which is marketed to hold 4 cc's of saline. (My doc says up to 5 cc's) To date I've had 4 fills and am hovering right around 3.95 cc's of saline and I am very restricted. As I type this I'm drinking coffee with sf creamer a morning ritual. I eat very little right now....... and the blessing is that I'm very rarely hungry! I have to really work on protien and water. I never thought in a million years that I would take a few bites of cottage cheese and not even think about food til 1:00 p.m. Yesterday Coffee w/sf creamer B: Cottage Cheese (maybe 1/2 cup) L: Mexican Restraunt: a few chips and salsa, 1 chicken taco D: 1/2 of a grilled hamburger dipped in Ranch, 1 pc of cheddar cheese SN: SF pudding cup NOTE: Crunchy crumbly go through the band EASY. Doughy and Gooooey end up acting like a cork.
If I were toooooooo restricted I would not be able to eat the solids and that would require that I get a slight unfil, but I can eat solids so its just the mental issue of only eating a tiny portion. I have decided that I'm going to have to really think about a protein shake in the morning as I'm supposed to get 64 grams of the stuff in during the day. I could eat most any type of food prior to this last fill.
Prior to first fill, (after initial healing time of liquids and mushies) I ate ANYTHING.. also known as BANDSTER HELL.
Second Fill: Thin crunch pizza crust
Third Fill: Maybe a bite of the very brown crunchy crust.

Here is a pic of my scars 2 days afer surgery

Below is an actual picture of my band. I asked the doc to take this for me and after he laughed he complied!
I think its cool, you may think its gross... :)
Have a great day everyone!

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Entering the land of the bloggers!

Welcome to MY BLOG!
I am Tracy, I was banded 4/26/2007 and as of this writing I am down 47 lbs.

I am not new to weight loss, as a matter of fact. I've lost 70-80 lbs 3 times in my adult life and 20-30 lbs, more times than I can count. The most sucessful of those trips down the scale were lost on a Low Carb (Atkins Style) eating plan. My problem has always been MAINTAINING the loss. I am a HUGE believer in following a High Protien/Lower Carb WOE... and I have an ATKINS baby (now 4) to prove that is helped my PCOS induced infertility, but that is another post for another day.
Even now as people start to notice my weight loss enough to comment on it, I'm hearing... "Trace, I see your losing weight again!" I laugh and say... "I'm losing this fat ONE MORE TIME AND THAT'S IT!!!!!!!" (Hence the title of my blog)
I didn't start a blog before now simply because I was in such a deep pit prior to banding. Not only had I regained all my lost weight (again) but and additional 20 lbs. You hear this all the time and folks it is not a joke it is a sad part of a professional dieters life.
I have two dear RL (real life) friends that have underwent the RNY Gastric Bypass. One is going on 5 years and the other is working on her 3rd year. I love these women like sisters, and I've watched as they both lost an amazing amount of weight, but I knew for ME that my path would not lead to the RNY. Instead I chose to be banded. My insurance paid the majority of it and I was off work for only 2 days. Surgery on Thursday, work the following Monday. Two days of PTO and no one at my job even knows, well no one except ONE coworker friend (unless somehow they stumble accross my cyber life).
To band or not to band?
I first heard of surgery for weight loss way back (years ago).......... I think it was a segment on 20/20.. a strange little doctor had invented something called the "fobi pouch". That was the first time I had even heard of such a thing as weight loss surgery. My then husband declared it "CRAP" and that was really the extent of even speaking the words Weight- Loss - Surgery aloud. Only now do I know that people like Rosanne underwent the fobi pouch procedure.. there are others but there is not much info on it, as the RNY was the predominant procedure (done in the US)
Anyway, I had traveled up and down the scale many times and had also watched my two friends have the RNY.... I am so proud of them, but I do believe that each of us has our own journey to take not that any ONE journey is better than the others.. just different......
I debated, argued, and beat myself up for two years deciding whether or not to seriously look into having LapBand surgery. I was really pissed off that I couldn't maintain my losses. It is VERY frustrating to spend as long as a YEAR on plan only to have it derail within months. Those who congratulate and cheer you on while you are loosing.......... click their tongues and stop making eye contact when you start the regain process. It is a self sabotaging cycle of guilt and failure..... one that I have EmPOWERED myself to stop.
I really chose the band over any other kind of surgical intervention for the sole reason of MAINTENANCE. If my band starts getting to lose, and I start eating too much.. I will RUN (not walk) to my doctor and demand a fill, if in time that my band needs revision/replacement... I say bring on the new and improved version! The band is adjustable meaning that I can get a total unfill if I need to take meds that might cause me to swell. It is my little silicone fist waiting patiently inside me to tell me STOP eating now! It is great.
I am a volume eater. I am an expert dieter. I suck at maintaining........ I am 4 months banded and loving it!