Tuesday, March 25, 2008


I was so surprised this morning………. I made it to the 180’s! (189.4 to be exact)

I hit ONEderland (199 lbs) Jan 5, 2008……… so I’ve been messing around with the same 10 lbs since that time…

This puts me at 83 lbs down in 11 months, and today I’m wearing a pair of stretchy 10’s! What a difference a year makes.

Although my band is not magic..and the concept is NOT Rocket science it sure has helped me eat less and lose weight. (and made it impossible for me to eat bread)

I went to a support group meeting last night and it really helped to re energize me… also seeing others with their struggles and successes made me realize that

My “skinny jeans” (size 12 Levis) are comfortable for me and going below them actually scares me.. I can’t wrap my head around it because I really don’t have a conscience memory of being smaller than that……. Sure when I met my first husband at age 15 I was wearing a pair of size 9/11 jeans.. but being young and stupid I don’t remember how that felt… as I’ve always been the fat one…… even when I was playing sports and toned….. I was always bigger than most of my friends and ALWAYS bigger than my sister…….

I guess, I will always be a fat girl on the inside of my head… even when the outside is “normal”… that is a scary thing to know about yourself.

We talked last night at the meeting about how people who have always been at a healthy weight, MUST have a 5 lb bell that goes off when they gain 5 or so pounds that triggers them into action……. And how people of a more obese nature… don’t hear the bell until 20-30-50 pounds have been gained….. (man that is soooo true)

The goal is to install the 5 pound bell in ME and get rid of the 50 lb bell……

Monday, March 24, 2008

Attacked by the Easter Bunny.....

I was not good over the weekend... I ate way too much.. and this big furry beast tackled me and shoved tons of horrid little colored eggs down my throat..... I tried to resist......... HONEST! ;)

The good news and somewhat amazing news.......... 190.4 lbs today..... a new low on this journey down the scale. Are the 180's on my horizon???

DH told me that my ass is getting flat........ hmmmmmmm on the good side... these are the same jeans I've been wearing since January and NOW they are fitting differently.... but to DH losing my ass is not a good thing.. as he likes my junk...

So I went shopping in search of jeans that fit........ I'm apparently between sizes.. but I was able to get into a pair of size 10 capri jeans......... but lets not kid ourselves there were TONS of 12's that I couldn't button yet! sooooo I got pissed off and didn't weigh all weekend.......... gasp...... (I am a daily weigher) so this morning I was suprised to see 190.4..........

Have a great great day!

Monday, March 17, 2008

I DID IT


I made my first PS consult today......... April 7th, 2008.

I feel like I'm going to puke....... not exactly sure why, nerves, excitement...
a mix really.

I am still 190ish (192 this morning) Will the doctor laugh at me because I'm not 135 lbs???? My insurance will pay for lose skin removal, but will they REALLY??? What should I fix.... arms, boobs, tummy......... all hang like disgusting anchors... how much will surgery REALLY help? Will fixing that just point out how hideous my legs have become???? Where will it stop? The pain after surgery... the time off work needed........ What will I tell my boss??? after all he doesn't know I'm even banded...... ok.. so I have 3 weeks before my consult....... should I go strict LC and drop 10 lbs before hand????????? What does it feel like to not have a belly?

OK....... again with the puking feeling

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

I'm BACK!!!!


Whew... the "wedding" and "honeymoon" is over......... I told dh.. ok this is the LAST TIME I'M MARRYING YOU! LOL ;) It went really well and the worst part is the drive from KS to Daytona FL.... (I DETEST ATLANTA TRAFFIC!)

I have been a bad bandster......... Dairy Queen Rehab here I come! I'll have to start tomorrow because what I've ate today has been....

COFFEE w/ sf creamer
1 pack of 100 cal oreo chips
1 mediumm dairy queen shake

THAT IS IT!!!!!!!!!!! No water, no protein, nuthin.......