Bringing in the Year
Well, its December 2008........... I had another unfill about 6 weeks ago, bringing me down to a measly 1.4cc's in my 4cc band.
I told my husband last night that I am going to try and keep it at this level because although I CAN eat biscuits and gravy and thin crust pizza... doesn't mean that I SHOULD.
Monday morning I woke up to 189 and it freaked me out..... 189 was my drop dead regain point....... so I started seriously Low Carbing and.... *blush* drinking water! I KNOW I KNOW! Shame on me... but this has been my reality..... I've NOT been a good bandster or good "dieter" lately.. uh months...
The funny part was hearing my "pre-band" mom lecturing me on what I was doing wrong! LOL
So after being good on food choices and water for 2 days, I'm back down to 182.... YES.. I weigh every day........ its the days that I don't weigh that I suck at eating..... the level of water I drink DIRECTLY correlates to the weight on the scale...... i.e. the 7 pound drop since MONDAY.....
So, I type this while eating string cheese and deli sliced turkey breast.. I just finished my 90th oz of water YA ME......
I have to get back to 174 and hit the ever elusive 100 lbs lost mark of 172....
Goal of seeing the 160's by my 2 year bandversary date in April... and pie in the sky goal weight of 150 something.........
OH.... and my moms plane just landed in Denver........ she's getting a band of her very own TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She's the one who clicked her tongue at me saying that I was the guinnea pig for the band... and "We'll See" She watched as my ass got smaller and smaller, she has seen me eat too fast and run to the trash can. She has seen me eat slow and get full fast. She has seen how I actually forgot to eat because I wasn't hungry... She has also seen me NOT BE ABLE TO EAT solid food, when I was too tight. She's heard my frantic call when they unfilled me and I was deathly afraid of being ABLE to eat a cheeseburger.... and unlike my naturally thinner sister... she understands the fear of regain that I will always have because it has always been my reality............... uhhh will I ever shed the fat girl in my head? will I ever NOT have food issues? Will I ever not WANT pizza? Who the hell knows....... I just know that I am in this for the long haul..... I have not won the fight over obesity, I know it will always be an issue.. in my head, in my heart, and on my ass!
Right now.. my step dad has done very well with this latest trip down the low carb scale...... he's down 70 lbs and is the reason why he finally came on board with mom getting banded..... he wants her to feel as good as he does, and he knows the band might just be the little helper she needs to do it....
My band, her band, YOUR band....... all do different things for its owner... for me it has been a little silicone fist to remind me to NOT BE A DUMBASS and eat a small amount OR ELSE see it in the trash can in the same form you swallowed it in! EWWWWWEEEE gross!
Mom just left me a message that their plane landed and are enroute to the hotel. She has an appointment with DR K. later today..... and surgery in the morning!
WHOOOHOOOOO!!!! whether she loses 50 or 150 lbs her knees, and heart will be better for it!
