A BandName........

First.......... since I am so scale oriented right now......... 200.8 this morning!
SO CLOSE...... but still 2something.
Some peeps on my LBT Violet thread were talking about naming our bands......
BillyBadAss, WIT aka whateverittakes, UpChuck, Bluto........ funny and poinant.... mine is named Crazy Nadine......... its a family name for me... my hard of hearing grandpa thought that my dad gave me a hippy name of "crazy" so in that side of the family it was my name....., later my neice Erica got a hold of the name and to her I was Crazy Nadine, after her uncle and I divorced no one really called me it anymore.. and so I am naming my band "crazy nadine" because she is fickle and picky, and my little silicone fist that shows me who is boss......... and the best thing I've ever done 100% for myself!

So then in my last post I was obsessing about maybe being too tight.....
today not so much. We took the boys to the movies. They all wanted to see
the Chipmunks..... (I tried telling them it was sold out) but no luck.. we watched the
singing rodents...... my 4 year old got bored by the end, but he did love it..

My point......... I had a kiddee combo........ tiny dt pepsi, fruit snack, and hot butter movie popcorn...... I ate the entire thing..... it took well over an hour but how AMAZING.. my band likes popcorn........ so NO ONEderland for me tomorrow I'm sure, but soon...

The more fastenating and aweinspiring thing is that pre band I would of had a mega combo W/refills! I'm going to eat lightly and smartly tonight and hope for the best tomorrow.

Have a great Saturday people!

OK... lets talk about being too tight

I'm talking RESTRICTION tightness....... pervs

First thing......... scale said 202 this morning! officially 70 lbs down from April 1, 2007..... I'm glad I'm happy... I'm almost in ONEderland..... but I think I may have to face facts that with my last tweaker fill (.3 cc's) I am too tight..... I don't know... I need to evaluate what exactly I'm eating and how fast. I've been eating mostly soups....... soups laced with crackers. I did eat some rotel dip w/ chips on Christmas eve, and yesterday I had mashed potatoes w/brown gravy...

I had a pretty violet PB last week on a very tender bbq meatball that had been in the crock pot all day...... It scared me. It was not a normal little PB (it was violent retching that hurt) hurt my port area and I went to bed with a heating pad. I haven't felt any pain since, but now I'm freaked out............ I need to get away from all the holiday sweets, and REALLY evaluate what I'm eating. I know that I do need more protein, to which my dh says he's got the answer...... :)
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWe.......... :) I do need to decide....... am I eating 1/2 cup of food and staying full???????? (IF I answered this truthfully, yes 1/2 -1 cup of food IS all I'm eating)

The filling out of a deviled egg with a cracker COULD ball up and clog the ol band... did I suck the filling out of 4 deviled eggs????? is that a half cup??? All questions that I need to consider really consider before messing with my restriction.......... because right now it kicks ass!

Merry Christmas!

Not much to write this week because the scale is not budging 203.8 it said this morning ... ticks me off, but I know its because I've been eating the crumbly goodness of Holiday sweets. (the good thing is... I'm eating 1 thing and NOT an entire PLATTER) the beauty of the band.....



I'm doing well, and I'm oh so happy to be looking like the pic to the left rather than the sad sap I was a year ago. I keep telling myself that if I lose slowly then maybe my belly and my knee's will "snap" back instead of look deflated, but who am I kidding????? My belly has NEVER been snappable! :)



My friend B was up a couple weeks ago and we enjoyed a most fabulous weekend... she's 5 or so years out from having the RNY.... the major difference between her eating and mine....

We went out for Cheesecake and Coffee......... mine went down fine, hers sent her into a major Dumping episode...and she NEVER dumps...... she ate bread, I didn't even dare try it. :)

SWEET DREAMS AND SMALLER JEANS!

Snowed Yesterday!

I can not believe it! Actual measurable snow.. the kids had a great time playing in it.

My friend is driving up today as the roads are clear. She's staying at the house tonight so last night I got her room ready, and this morning I put dinner in the crock pot before heading off to work!

Tomorrow we are going to my LapBand support meeting and then its off to the hotel, and later the Ballet (Nutcracker) total girls weekend!

ohhhhhhhhhh scale said 204.6 lbs today! YIPPEEEEE

I'm sooooo excited!

One of my best friends in the ENTIRE world is coming in for the weekend and we are planning to hit the Country Club Plaza, and catch either the Nutcracker or A Christmas Carol..... best of all I get to give her a hug after 3 years......... and no kids, no husbands...... just us girls. I'm hoping for good weather because she will have to cancel if the roads are icy.... HOLY CRAP I need to clean my house and get her bed ready! TONIGHT I WILL BE A MANIAC :)

I'm so happy......

scale is continuing to bounce from 205-209......... today = 206 lbs..........

I've been crying a lot.......

Along with my mostly optimistic outlook on life...... I've been crying A LOT, over small stuff and big stuff... and extremely stupid stuff..... WHY?
I realized its because I am no longer able to STRESS EAT... with this last fill I am no longer able to cram shit down my throat because of life events...... When I do.. it is not satisfying and I end up over the toilet spitting it out. Finding a new outlet for my stress is something I must do. Because me being a total irrational biotch to those I love and work with will not cut it.......
The obvious answer is exercise........... but come on let me be real....... I haven't developed the love affair with exercising that oh so many have...... I don't ever see me having an orgasm over a good brisk run.... I wish. LOL
OK... so I'm going to post a pic from Last December...... It was taken at my sons skating party and I thought I looked pretty cute until I saw the following pic......... I wasn't even at my heaviest yet...... Also a pretty embarassing thing happened at this party...... I got down on the floor in the center of the rink to re tie my son's skate, and I could NOT get my fat ass up.... The skates kept moving out from under me and I had to ask a little size 0 teeny bopper to help me up......... she freaked out thinking that I had fallen, she asked if she needed to call someone.. I said NO.. just give me a hand....(this completely tore down any piece of confidence I had) I was the fat mom who had a young outgoing spirit in a fat waddling body.......... that version of me is gone....... I'm getting there...... BRING ON THE DAMN SKaTES!

Me trying to keep my balance and look cute..........

Never again will I BE that woman!

December 2006

December 2, 2007........

Wearing my beloved size 12 Levis and a Size Large Shirt