Thursday, April 10, 2008


Yesterday I recieved a FedEx overnight packet inviting me to be on the Lap-Band Patient Experience Council.. get this.. the conference is to be held in VEGAS and yes they are paying my way!!!!! I will have to be in a meeting 8-5 on Saturday and 8-Noon on Sunday…….. but HOLY CRAP BATMAN!!!

Suprisingly, my DH was NOT happy not even excited and basically tried to put down the hammer... "WE ARE NOT GOING" WTH??? EXCUSE ME???? It was a longgggg sleepless night.. and this is what I've come up with..... He is totally freaking out on my independence, confidence and overall outgoingness.... (all things that I've always been, but..... have been supressed for most of our 3 year relationship)

This goes back to my NUMEROUS trips down the scale..... the last time I lost 80lbs was right before we met...... so when I met him my butt was a size 12 and I was happy go lucky, independant and living life... part of what attracted him to me right???

Well we became involved, committed and an exclusive couple.. and I began to gain weight..... I would try to get back on the LC bandwagon and he would laugh, roll his eyes, and take me to dairy queen..... I was weak and I gained quickly.... every pound that reappeared would be like a nail in my spirit... so I was shrinking inside, depressed, mad at myself and disgusted with how weak my resolve was.... I was miserable with my fatness....... and even more so when I surpassed my previous high weight of 256..... getting on that scale at 272 was THE low point.. rock bottom..... that is why I ended it there.. I put myself on a pre op diet EARLY.. I started drinking LowCarb protein shakes with one meat meal per day....... and from April 1, to April 26 (day of surgery) I lost 19 lbs........ and its been a ride down the scale and down the sizes ever since..... I am very involved with my Shrinking Violets to the point that we are all meeting in TX in May.... (He supported me and told me to go, and so I booked my flight) He kind of passive agressively freaked out on this last weekend...

I go to my bandster support meetings and he gets a little itchy.....

NOW this.......... I'm getting healthy, looking good, excited about my band and have now been given oportunity to meet the makers of the band and maybe even shape the way its presented, produced, designed etc...... they want MY feedback and they are paying me for my opinion....... how freaking cool is that????? So maybe he's feeling a bit left behind....... a man's ego is such a sentive thing... and I've never been a wall flower.. he knew this from the start.. but maybe just maybe he is a bit threatened by it........

So this post has turned into something else... thats the way of putting thoughts down on paper.... uhhhh errrr computer

However.. I'm calling with my confirmation today....... He IS going with me..... and I've got to get right with my eating cause I'll be meeting a bunch of people from all over the US in JUNE!

Take care peeps!

1 comment:

Leah said...

what a awesome opportunity!!

and it's good to get all the stuff out on paper (screen) about relationships. When one person changes, even when it's good, people get threatened. (I've been learning this a lot in therapy and with my family as I change). Staying aware and pushing through is awesome. Communciation is so key!

You are outgoing and wonderful, and I'm sure DH will get his head on straight about this. ;) besides, it's Vegas for free, Baby!